Nishanth S Coontoor
The recent suicide by a loved and popular Bollywood actor, due to depression, saw everyone posting messages on social media. The messages urged friends in their social media circle to call them if they needed to talk; offered them a meal if they needed to eat; offered a ride if they wanted to get outside their homes.
This was a week ago. It has since passed.
The overall message was positive and the need of the hour- It was to not let depression win but to win over depression instead.
Now, I don’t know much about depression, so the responsible thing to do is to educate myself. I always thought depression was being sad. We are all sad and low at some point or the other, including me. Maybe when things don’t work out the way you wanted it to work out. Or maybe when you feel you are just stuck – hopefully not in a literal sense. This leads you to just lose interest in everything you normally do because, logically speaking at that state, you start to question the point of putting any effort toward anything.
So, you simply let go and continue to freefall. Everything is boring. You have no interest in anything anymore. You don’t want to socialize with anyone. You don’t want to hear about anyone. You just want to hide and be forgotten.
There may also be instances where there is no clear reason or cause to be feeling low. People around you usually make it a point to specify that everything is good in your life and there are no problems. But you continue to feel low.
Is that depression?
According to National Institute of Mental Health’s website, depression is a common but serious mood disorder with the following symptoms listed below. To be diagnosed with depression, the symptoms should be present for at least two weeks.
The symptoms include persistent sad, anxious or an empty mood. Feelings of hopelessness or pessimism. Irritability. Feelings of guilt, worthlessness or helplessness. And a few more.
Please see the complete list of symptoms and learn more on their website at https://www.nimh.nih.gov/health/topics/depression/index.shtml
I’ll also list other resources I found online at the end of this piece.
Depression needs to be treated. Depression is real.
So, as we learn more about it, don’t fall for anyone who asks you to ‘snap out of it.’ Ignore anyone who says you are too young to be depressed too. Let me just say, take advice from a credible authority.
The social media posts still got me thinking though. We tell everyone to call us in case they need to talk. But how many of us take a call from a friend or an unknown number when the time really comes? Let me level that up for you. How many of us even respond to messages immediately? Or even send a courtesy response promising to text back. Who knows what is behind that simple ‘Hi.’
I am guilty of the same. Barring my immediate family members and a handful of close friends, there have been times when I did not text back or take a call because I was watching a show or enjoying a meal and did not want to be disturbed.
Maybe it is a result of my subconscious observations. Or maybe I am just overthinking it. People seem to have a daily routine, a comfort zone, and they do not want to break it by having to socialize or spend ‘unscheduled’ time ‘catching up.’
When I call a friend, who I haven’t contacted in a while, I expect it to go to voicemail. I am mentally prepared to leave a message. Someone I know once remarked ‘Why is he calling me? Just text so I can respond later at my convenience.’
When I text someone new that I recently got to know, I hope to get a response at least the following day. It is never immediately or even after a few hours. Sometimes, it even takes a week.
We are all busy. You. And me.
Busy with work, life, quarantine, grocery shopping, zoom workouts, studies, reading or listening to Spotify.
But it does not break the time and space continuum if you pick that call for a few seconds, tell your friend on the other end that you will call him/her back later because you are doing this and that. ‘Anything urgent?’ you may add.
When that message flashes on your mobile or the apple watch, it does not hurt to text back and say ‘I’m busy right now. I saw your message. I’ll text back later.’ If you’re driving, you may use CarPlay or call back.
Either way, when the time really comes, don’t forget to make good on those promises you made last week.
From the internet –
Mayo Clinic link:
https://www.mayoclinic.org/diseases-conditions/depression/symptoms-causes/syc-20356007
According to Mayo Clinic website,
When to get emergency help
If you think you may hurt yourself or attempt suicide, call 911 or your local emergency number immediately.
Also consider these options if you’re having suicidal thoughts:
- Call your doctor or mental health professional.
- Call a suicide hotline number — in the U.S., call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1-800-273-TALK (1-800-273-8255). Use that same number and press “1” to reach the Veterans Crisis Line.
- Reach out to a close friend or loved one.
- Contact a minister, spiritual leader or someone else in your faith community.
If you have a loved one who is in danger of suicide or has made a suicide attempt, make sure someone stays with that person. Call 911 or your local emergency number immediately. Or, if you think you can do so safely, take the person to the nearest hospital emergency room.
Image by Grae Dickason from Pixabay