Nishanth S Coontoor
I don’t know about you, but since this quarantine started, my photos have started to look like the ‘Before’ picture of a weight loss success story. There is a difference though. Weight loss success stories have an ‘After’ photo and a happy ending. My photos are just stuck in the same point in time – often sporting a constipated look. Sigh.
My initial attempts to ‘take control’ and get to a gym routine was met with several roadblocks.
It started when my shirt would not fit. Simple as that. I blamed it on the dryer conspiracy. As soon as I hit the permanent-press button on the dryer, I imagine a bunch of rats (I live in the NY area) jumping into action, cutting down and stitching my shirts/pants down one size. That’s the only explanation. But then I realized I was running out of clothes to wear and a dhoti was not a preferred option to wear to work here.
Alright, that was it. I looked up ‘How to lose weight fast.’ I made my mind to wake up early next morning and start going to the gym at 5 am. 10 mins before 10 pm, while in bed prepping to sleep, I start to do the math.
If I must be in the gym at 5 am, I need to wake up at 4.30 am to drive to the gym.
But, if I must leave at 4.30 am, I need to wake up at 4.15 am to get ready.
But, if I must get ready at 4.15 am, I need to get my morning chai at 3.45 am.
But I should probably have a banana an hour before the workout.
But, should this be post-chai, or pre-chai? Or should this be on the way? No.
Its 11 pm now.
I am now counting down each hour to 3.30 am. If I sleep now, I will get 4 hours of sleep. If I sleep now, I will get 3 hours of sleep…
I finally woke up at 9 am!
“It’s okay. I will go in the evening.”
Who am I kidding? It was a constant battle between ‘Oh, I overate lunch’ or ‘Oh, I did not eat well.’
Finally, one day, things magically fell into place because I took the day off to go to the gym. It’s the small victories you know.
Weeks turned into months and the annual trip back home was here again. Imagine traveling and having to say no to tasty foods from MTR, Vidyarthi Bhavan, CTR, the dosas, the bisi-bele bath, the chole-bature, the rasmalai…what were we talking about? Yeah, food. I mean, diet. But I did it. I felt ‘light.’
I decided to weigh in.
When train number 12013 – Amritsar Shatabdi came to a halt at 8.37 pm in Ludhiana Junction (LDH), I had 3 minutes to weigh in before it departed.
I found a weighing scale on the train platform. The ones with a colorful wheel to ‘look into.’ I put a Rs 5 coin. Stepped on it. A small card printed and popped out. 100 kgs.
“Is there something wrong with this – maybe it needs a reset?” I asked a stranger running to catch the train, Shah Rukh Khan style, but no Kajol.
“YOU need a reset,” he responded, before catching the train.
Very soon, I got back to the train and got to my seat.
“It must be the food,” my aunt declared. “You eat very late. You need to have an early dinner.” She drew a card from the stack. We were playing UNO.
“Pass the chips,” I disagree. “Its all the carbs and rotis he eats,” spoke my cousin. “Give up carbs. Only lentils and veggies. No biryani either.”
“No, it’s the dairy. If you drink 1-liter milk everyday, of course, you will become a cow!” “It causes bloating.”
Keto came up. A juice cleanse came up as well.
“Arre bhaiyya, aap running karo na,” suggested the chai wala. “Chai?” “Biskoot?”
Post-holiday, back to the USA, I finally managed to get into a routine of balanced diet, calorie counting and exercise. There were occasions when a pasta would seductively look at me at Costco. I picked her up once, put her in the trolley to take her back home. Took a few steps and stopped to read the calories on it. 1000 calories? Sigh. I had to break up with her and put her back in the food aisle. Sorry. We aren’t compatible.
(Dear Costco security, if you ever saw me going back and forth picking up food and placing it back in the aisle, it’s because of this.)
Now, with the quarantine, it’s finding a new routine all over again. Gyms are online but finding the right equipment is tough. Then there is the motivation, or the lack of. While you attempt to get back to a routine, care to lend a pair of dumbbells?
Glossary:
MTR, Vidyarthi Bhavan, CTR: Restaurants in Bangalore, India
Dosa, Bisi-bele bath, Chole-bature, Rasmalai: Various kinds of food.
Shah Rukh Khan, Kajol: Bollywood stars
Roti: Indian flat bread